CAN FEMINISM GIVE US MORE ORGASMS? - THE SJ EDIT

The joy inducing palace of pleasure and positivity. All queens welcome.

(originally written for the SJ Edit in 2018)

As feminism grows will our number of orgasms grow with it?

You might be scratching your bonce and wondering what the connection is between feminism and orgasms is? I know, I agree, at first it doesn’t seem all that obvious, but it honestly is. Let me explain.

When giving this question some thought I took myself back to my time in high school. Right back to that hormone turning point, everything growing at a rapid pace: body hair, boobs, balls and cocks. Suddenly sex becomes a hot topic. My friends and I would talk about what we might end up doing with boyfriends we haven’t got yet or reading the pages from a stolen Black Lace Novel. Although neither were as exciting as ‘Position of the fortnight’ in More magazine. These conversations were secret meetings, telephone calls or notes that were passed between us. And the majority of the conversations were about what boys will expect from us, rarely the other way around. I honestly don’t recall us talking orgasms, multiple orgasms or masturbation. Meanwhile the lads were walking around talking about wanking and who can shoot jizz the furthest. They were proud of it and the majority had no problem telling anyone who would listen. Girls didn’t talk about wanking.

In my late teens and early twenties. I had female friends who told me that they had never had a wank. I have a feeling that, some of them really hadn’t but the others did and felt a sense of shame in doing so. It wasn’t because they were prudes, because they would detail the previous night’s blow job skills with gusto. ‘Did he make you come?’ I’d ask. Often the answer was ‘no but then I’ve never come, I think it’s me’.

It was around this time that I told a friend that I had been to Ann Summers to buy a vibrator. She looked at me horrified and asked me why I had bought one. I told her, I thought it would be fun. She explained that she won’t be buying one as she was happy with her sex life as it is – no sex aids required. Her partner was a great lover, her lack of orgasms was her issue. I could never understand why it was her issue and hers alone. And this applied to all women. Even if she orgasmed regularly with her partner, why not have more? Why not have some on your own? I didn’t say that, even I felt like maybe that made me a bit odd, demanding or even a slut? With this in mind I decided it wasn’t a great idea to suggest maybe she should just have a wank, then she’ll know what makes her orgasm. Looking back, that is exactly what I should have told her. Because girls/women do wank and we do need to talk about it.

The issue here is the idea of what a woman should be. And it’s the concept that women should be gentle and demure in nature. ‘Lady like’ which is the most stupid phrase ever conceived and definitely one that we don’t need to bring with us into 2018. Our continuing journey to feminism asks us to find equality in all areas of our lives. This means the realisation that women like sex as equally as men. We love a good wank, and wanking is good for everyone! And just like the fella’s, we need to get used to being more open about that. Being proud of our bodies and understanding what makes them get off is vital. Sex is good, women don’t need to feel guilty when they say they love sex and want more orgasms.

As I write this today, I realise there are many women who would regard me as being rather frank about sex and orgasms, and in some way…brave? We need to get over that. I’m a woman, in 2018, who likes sex and enjoys orgasms. And if you are too, go and tell your friends. Have open discussions, share tips, encourage your girlfriends to flick that bean! Its the only way to understand what turns you on. Telling your partner what makes you climax, so you can both enjoy sex to the full IS equality!

Feminism between the sheets = more orgasms for everyone.

It’s a win win situation ladies!